Casual Conversation in the Workplace…Something to Talk About

What’s your take on casual conversation in the workplace?  Do you encourage it?  Do you participate in it? Or, do you choose not to involve yourself in idle talk?

Indeed, some might think that spending time talking to people about this and that, serves little purpose but to waste time.  I think that having conversations, even of the most casual kind with the people you work with is an imperative.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here’s Why:

• As a leader, when you engage in conversation with employees, you are giving yourself, and your company, an opportunity to know them beyond what was written on their resumes when they were first hired.

If you think it is not important to know people as long as they do the job, then you could be missing something.  After all, as a leader it is your job to know what you have to work with in terms of resources.  And that goes for the human kind as well.  Having casual conversations with the people you lead allows you the opportunity to know more about their talents, experiences and skills and helps you to see not only their present capability but possibly their future potential too.

• Casual conversations among your followers can serve as the glue that brings people together and builds strength in team or company relationships

If you discourage people on your team or in your department from engaging in casual conversations in the hope that they will spend more time doing their jobs, you could also be missing something.  Encouraging the development of relationships among people who work together on a daily basis can build strength and a sense of common purpose.  In my experience, people who know each other on a more personal level are more likely to want to support each other when it comes to getting the work done, especially when the going gets tough.

• Leaders who engage in everyday conversations with those they lead invariably reveal something of themselves that takes them from the realm of “boss” to the more level place of “boss who is also human”

If you want your followers to participate with you in achieving your goals and to make contributions that go beyond simply doing what they are told, you must put something of yourself into the mix. People will only share information about themselves with you easily, if you show that you are willing to meet them halfway and share something of yourself too.

Having said all that, I think it important to say too, that casual conversations can go from being constructive and helpful to divisive and destructive if you’re not careful. And, that’s when they get in the way of building healthy productive relationships and workplaces.

So, to avoid this, there are a few things to consider when it comes to engaging in casual conversations at work:

• Keep your conversations friendly and professional

This means that, generally, people do not need, or even want, to know all of the intimate details of your life.  Seek balanced two-way conversations that give each participant the opportunity to take part. Providing too much information (as in, Whoa…too much information!) could be embarrassing and the very thing that will have people avoiding you rather than seeking you out.

• Know when the conversation is over and move on

Conversations that outlive their usefulness can, and do, get in the way of getting the work done.  Spending inordinate amounts of time leaning on doorframes or hanging over cubicle walls talking about whatever comes to mind is not the idea at all.  Keep your exchanges short yet friendly and I suspect that everyone will appreciate it.

• Resist, at all costs, any temptation to participate in idle gossip or rumour mongering.

When rumour, innuendo and other negative lines of conversation are engaged in, bad feeling and damaged relationships are bound to follow.  As leader, it is important to model constructive and helpful conversations and to be clear that negative talk is not condoned.

If you want more information about conducting a useful casual conversation, here it is:

So, have I missed something?  What are your views on casual chat in the workplace?  What is your experience with it?

When Change Hits “Upside the Head”

Change.  It’s a topic that provides much fodder for discussion among leaders.  We anticipate it; study it; plan for it; and, if we are smart (or lucky), we make it happen or respond to it with strength, a sense of purpose and a clear head.  Sounds pretty simple.

But of course, it’s not.  Sometimes change hits us “upside the head” and cares not whether we have had time to think about it or prepare for it.  It simply happens, rudely and without ceremony, leaving us grappling to make some sense of it all.

Yes, there are ways to mitigate the impact of such brutal changes but for the most part, they have a way of sending us into a tailspin and causing even that which was once so familiar to seem somehow foreign and out of sync with how we understand the world.

The trauma brought about by such change happens every day to countless people, people without contingency plans, or any idea how they are going to cope with what has happened to them.  And yet we do, cope I mean, under many conditions and through many challenges.

Having recently experienced an “upside the head” change myself, I am given to thinking about aspects of change that I perhaps did not give so much consideration to in the past. Here are a few of those thoughts:

• Change is primarily an emotional and people-centred event

Here’s a story that, to me, illustrates that point.

In 2001, Jeffery W. Greenberg, Chairman of Marsh & McLennan Companies headquartered in New York, presided over a firm of 58,000 people worldwide.  1,127 of them worked in the World Trade Centre, some in Tower One and others in Tower Two.  Mr. Greenberg’s office was in Mid-town Manhattan.  From his window, he had a clear view of the towers and of the horror inflicted on those who went to work there on September 11^th.

At the end of the reckoning, 295 of the company’s employees had lost their lives.  In the midst of the pain and disarray that was to ensue in the days, weeks and months following the attack, something emerged that I think is significant.

While there were lessons to be learned about executing business disaster recovery plans and the positioning of Data Centres and telecommunications systems, Mr. Greenberg’s primary observations were less about that and more about the people, their courage, resilience and determination to pick up the pieces and move on.

This story suggests to me that successfully moving through horrendous change events relies more heavily on the preservation of emotional health than we might otherwise think.   The irony  is that Mr Greenberg does not enjoy a reputation associated with good leadership but perhaps at this particular time, he may have got it right.

• During times of drastic change, people are often given far less credit for having resilience than they deserve

It is tempting, I think, for leaders to assume that because a change is frightening, people will fall apart and be unable to participate in working toward a new normal without constant hand holding and caretaking. I believe though, that it is during such frightening times that we each have the potential to discover inner stores of strength and courage that might never have previously been tested.

While, firm structures are imperative during times of uncertainty, so is faith in peoples’ ability to adapt and contribute to bringing about a new order of things.

• “Upside the Head” kinds of Change bring out the best in most people.

It would be naïve of me to suggest that when disaster strikes, there won’t be some who will take advantage of it for personal gain, or fail to rise to the occasion, but for the most part, people are amazingly supportive of one another during times of trouble.  Even if, in ordinary circumstances, they spend time bickering, there is something galvanizing about life-changing, scary events that brings out the best in most of us.

I have lately been reminded of this and have, along with my husband, been the recipient of great kindness and active support from many good people.

For leaders, it is something to perhaps remember…and trust.

• Recovery requires us to dig deep and see the funny side of things.

It’s hard to even think of laughing when your world has been turned upside down.  After all, the experience of being caught in a chaotic and foreign situation is far from funny. But, in my experience, there is always something ironic or just downright comical about every situation.

My husband had a stroke, a very serious one.  It has scared us both, badly. But, for some reason, along with the crying (and there has been some of that), there has been a fair amount of laughter too.

I just think that, sometimes reverence can be overrated and looking at the lighter side of life, even if it seems a bit out of place, has a way of lifting the load for a time. It is even possible that through a recovery period when the going is hard, laughter is indeed a very potent medicine.

Do you have an “upside the head” story? Want to share it?  One of the things I learned is that I’m tougher than I thought I was.  What about you? What did you learn?

The Performance Review & Some Ugly Truths

Last week, I wrote a post about “The Dreaded Performance Review”,something that everyone so loves to hate.

For a while, this blog post kind of just sat there.  Some people kindly picked it up on their Twitter radar but overall, I felt that its impact was, well, kind of flat.  So I, for one, was eager to move away from it and talk about something else.

And then I began to think that my eagerness to put the discussion behind me was not unlike the very real tendency for organizations to plough through the performance review process quickly… primarily to get away from it.

I think it is partly because performance reviews require human beings to make judgements on each other.  There are some inherent dangers associated with that.  And there are some ugly truths too. For instance:

The Ugly Truth about Some Bosses is that:

• Managing performance well requires coaching skills that many bosses have not acquired.  Many new leaders are promoted to the role of ‘boss’ with very little advanced training or support; and some of those not-so-new bosses get easily stuck in an old mindset that views coaching as an alien concept with few redeeming features.

• Some bosses don’t actually understand what their employees do or how their roles fit in the organization. These leaders find it embarrassing to ask because they know they ought to know.  And so, when it comes time to complete a performance review on such an employee, they guess and resort to generalities that fail to clearly identify the real contribution the employee has made.

• Some bosses aren’t that interested in what others are doing or how they do it as long as they do what they’re told. Of course, they can’t say that and be politically correct as well, and so often this attitude is disguised by using  nondescript statements like, “ this employee performed satisfactorily in this area”…not very helpful.

The Ugly Truth about Some Employees is that:

• In general, criticism is a hard pill to swallow, even the constructive kind.  Our response to it is to defend our positions, our actions, our territory rather than search for even the smallest grain of truth in what is being said.  I think we do this because often, we aren’t clear about what we are being measured against and; we quite naturally fear negative consequences.

The Ugly Truth about Performance Review Systems is that:

• In an effort to get more specific about what is being measured, Performance Review systems have this tendency to become very cumbersome and complex. When a boss is faced with having to complete a lot of these, it is no wonder that they fail to do justice to them.

• Personal bias is our constant companion.  Those who say they have a performance review system that excludes personal bias are, at best, being naïve.  Good bosses will recognize the bias factor and make attempts to achieve balanced accounts of employee performance in spite of it.  Not-so-good bosses will not and this renders the system itself unstable and pretty much unfair.

In spite of all these, so-called ugly truths, I continue to believe that individual performance assessment is integral to successful businesses and organizations.  For one thing, when executed well, they enroll and involve people in their own development and inspire them to give their best effort.  And that produces optimal results for the business.

For another thing, Wally Bock, a leadership expert and author of the blog, Three Star Leadership, asked the question, “How do you manage talent and knowledge?” Well, I don’t know for sure but perhaps a performance assessment process, when executed well, might be a good place to start to acknowledge and collect this kind of information.

Finally, how might the ugly truths I talk about be addressed?  Here are a few briefs comments on that:

For Bosses:

• If you don’t have the coaching skills you need to motivate, challenge, encourage and demand optimal performance from your team, make it a priority to learn and practice them.  They will serve you well and your people will respect you for it.

• If you don’t understand what your people do, listen and learn or consult others who do know.  Until you do, it is highly likely that you are not qualified to conduct any kind of individual performance assessment on them.

• If the truth is that you are not interested in what they do, you are essentially abdicating your role as a leader. Either get interested or go and find a job that will allow you to work without leadership responsibilities

For Employees

• If you spend your time rationalizing your actions and making excuses for why you did or did not do something, you are essentially wasting time that could be better spent examining what you need to learn or do differently to get what you want.

For People Who design Performance Review Systems

• Keep the process simple.  Here are four questions that come to mind for me to begin with:
  • What does your best work look like?
  • What do you need from me to do your best work?
  • What do you need to learn?
  • How will we know when you’ve accomplished it?

Last week, I received some insightful comments from some very smart women, among them, Susan Mazza and Mary Jo Asmus.  I urge you to read these comments on my last week’s blog post and then read their own blogs, Random Acts of Leadership and Intentional Leadership.  You won’t be sorry.

In the meantime I’d be delighted to receive your ideas and comments about how to build a better, or even a different performance assessment “mousetrap”  Perhaps together, we can bring about a positive change to a process that has, in my view anyway, long out-lived its ‘sell by’ date.

The Dreaded Performance Review

I think it is safe to say that the performance review is something that most people love to hate.  And I think we hate it because although it starts out with noble intentions it tends to degenerate into an exercise without meaning.   Leaders hate it because it becomes just another thing to do.  And employees hate it because it rarely acknowledges their real contribution while being a determining factor in how they are paid.  In this scenario too, the performance review often becomes something we do to people rather than with them. Like going to the dentist for root canal, it has that tinge of dread about it.

But the reality is that performance assessment is important to both the organization and the people who work for it.  To achieve its goals and remain competitive, the organization must maximize on the capability and knowledge of its people. Likewise, to achieve their own ambitions and receive appropriate recognition for their contribution, people need a method of summarizing their accomplishments; identifying their learning needs and; planning their next steps.

Hopefully then, we can agree that while the principle of performance review is sound, where it often falls short is in the execution of the process.

So, what to do?  Well, probably a lot of things, but here are a few thoughts to begin with.

• Performance assessment is a cooperative thing

In order for a performance assessment to be effective, both the leader and the individual must participate.  That means that each must find a way to connect with the other; discuss and agree on what is to be done and; talk about how they will measure it.  If, as leader, you simply deliver targets to people without that kind of engagement then you are giving up an opportunity to not only know what the individual can do, but also to recognize his or her future potential.

And, while on this topic, the leader must also:

• Be Clear about Performance Goals and Expected Accomplishments

Ken Blanchard has some ideas about maximizing individual performance.  He believes that the task for leaders is to help people “get an A” on their performance assessment by being clear about what is expected of them.  I think he’s right.  Here’s a video of Mr Blanchard explaining his philosophy. 

• It is unrealistic to approach everyone in the same way

In many organizations I believe we spend inordinate amounts of time trying to level the playing field.  In other words we operate on the principle that equity means treating everyone in the same way.  But I say that being equal is not the same as being the same and human beings create a much more interesting and varied landscape than a level playing field suggests.

To me, that means that not everyone is going to fit comfortably into the boxes that performance review processes often ask us to comply with. So the challenge for the leader is to inject variety and individual attention into the process in service of achieving optimal results and satisfaction levels for everyone.

• Performance assessment is not a once-a-year activity

In my experience, at the end of any given fiscal year, there was always a flurry of activity around getting performance assessments completed.  And, as human nature generally dictates, when it comes to doing things deemed unpleasant, most people tend to put them off until the last minute.  Because of this, the quality of a good many of the assessments was, well, questionable.  Some people were hard pressed to remember what they were actually measuring.  And of course others crammed as much meaningless rhetoric as possible into the reports rendering them impressive but not very useful.

If we are to give meaning to measuring performance and helping people build skill and experience, we have to pay a little attention to it every day.  It is part of the leader’s job to create working environments that invite participation and interest. Monitoring and measuring along the way provides performance benchmarks that allow people to see how they are doing at any given point.  This does not mean that you have to concentrate on this all of the time.  It does mean that you bring the notion of acknowledging individual performance into everyday conversations and routines.

There is of course a lot more involved in motivating others to perform and in accurately capturing the results, than can be covered in one blog post. But, maybe this can be a start of an interesting conversation.

If you have a performance review story or opinion that you would like to share please do!

Failure, the Other “F” Word

Failure. I don’t like it.  And, I defy anyone to put up a hand and volunteer if asked, “Okay, so who wants to fail today?”

The fact is though, unless we live in a bubble and do nothing, we are going to fail at something.  Failure is a part of living and, often, the very thing that makes success so exhilarating, if only by contrast.

Leaders experience failure all the time. Indeed, it is often failure that gives them the fuel and determination to succeed in the end. So, if you are new to leadership, know that to be a good leader, sometimes you’re also going to fail.

Some people will say that however you look at it, failure is failure.  But I can think of two kinds of failure, the glorious kind and the pointless kind.

Randy Pausch, author of The Last Lecture, talks about glorious failure. As a professor of computer science at Carnegie Mellon in Pittsburgh PA, he regularly put out challenges to his students and then gave an award to the team of students that failed to meet their stated objectives.  He gave the award in acknowledgement of their dedication to new ideas; to their willingness to take risk and; to the effort they made toward achieving something that no one else had dared to try.

To me, glorious failures are also those that come from genuine effort.  These are failures that are used as springboards to something else.  They represent a piece of a larger puzzle and are used for learning, growth and exploration.

But, failures become pointless when we don’t pay attention to the lessons they teach.  I expect we do this for a number of reasons.  It can be embarrassing to try something and fall flat on our faces.  So the temptation to pretend it didn’t happen or to find someone to blame is often very strong.

Indeed, in some organizations, there is little tolerance for failure, at least in my experience.  Time is spent, and wasted, in rationalizing and blaming. The lessons that come from failure then become lost and useless.  And, people are less and less willing to explore new possibilities.

When it comes to trying new things I believe that good leaders do two things.

First, they focus on success.  That means they will do whatever they can to anticipate potential pitfalls that could get in the way of achieving their goal and work on mitigating these obstacles so that the way to the goal becomes less onerous.

Second, should they fail to meet their intended objective, they focus on learning. That means they will examine the outcome and circumstances dispassionately with a view to squeezing as much juice out of the situation as possible.  To me, it goes something like this:

• Determine what worked and keep it for use at another time

• Acknowledge what didn’t work and determine what might be done differently next time.

• Take corrective action as required

• Remember the lesson and move on

And, if looking for someone to blame, good leaders look in the mirror first.

Oh, and just in case you want more evidence that failure can indeed lead to success, here are some famous failures for you to contemplate

Your thoughts?

Workplace Democracy – A Genie in A Bottle

Okay so I’m going where Boomers fear to tread here today. I’m going take a look at workplace democracy.  It is a hard place for me to go because I grew up with, and came to understand and accept, a workplace that is best described as a benevolent dictatorship.  So the notion of people voting to choose their bosses and selecting their own salaries is frankly not something I’m very comfortable with.

And yet, I have long believed that too much of the population goes to work, and goes home again, having no sense of either purpose or satisfaction.  I suspect too, that neither do they make contributions worthy of their capabilities. For people in this situation,  it is more about making a living, than living a life, and while that may have been acceptable to some people of my generation, (even grudgingly so), it is probably not enough for the current generation of workers who fully expect to have a voice in matters that affect them.

There are many advantages to democratic workplaces, not the least of which are that they appear to be magnets for skilled, talented and diverse pools of people.  According to many experts who wax poetic about employee engagement, democratic workplaces also experience less absenteeism and turnover, two things that are mightily expensive in more traditional workplaces. There is a deeper sense of ownership too, among employees and a greater amount of freedom of expression.  Who wouldn’t like that?

But what does a truly democratic workplace look like?

Well, in my meanderings around the topic of workplace democracy I came across a company in Brazil called Semco.  This company operates its democracy to the extent that:

• Employees set their own work schedules

• They don’t use the same workstation more than two days in a row so    that no one really knows when they go to work or how long they stay.

• Employees  supervise themselves

• Each business unit is responsible for its own capital costs and shares in the profits

• Each employee has access to the books which are made easier to understand by presenting the numbers with simple illustrations not dissimilar to a graphic novel (aka a comic book)

• Every six months, employees select their own salary

• Each person in each unit has the power to hire and fire.

• There is a lot of freedom and a lot of pressure to perform

• Employees are assessed and compensated based on what they produce. Period.

There are, no doubt, varying degrees of democracy in companies all over North America. Let’s face it; some will even consider the addition of a suggestion box to be a progressive step toward being able to say they operate on a democratic basis.

The truth is that democracy in the workplace is a complex system however you choose to look at it.  To be truly democratic, organizations must consider processes that include voting systems, debates, adversarial processes and systems of appeal. It is not something that leaders can choose lightly. It is a genie in a bottle.  Once released, there is no going back.

So, if you are considering a shift toward a democratic workplace, you may need to first check your tolerance level.  Here are only a few questions that come to mind for me.

• How much time might you be willing to give to decision making?

Decisions, democratically reached, typically take a lot longer than in other systems. However, the theory is that many companies who take the time to reach decisions through voting and consensus are better positioned to carry out a decision quickly having gained commitment from everyone involved.

• As a leader how prepared might you be to be elected to your role rather than appointed?

In a democratic workplace, some say, that power is more properly distributed if leaders are elected by prospective followers rather than chosen by others.

• How much control do you need?  If you have a lot of control now how much are you willing to give up?

In a democratic workplace, ownership for decisions and actions lie with employees.  In order to make this work, they must also have a corresponding degree of power and control over what happens in their working environment. It is only then that you can hold them accountable for what they produce.

These are just a few questions that come up for me.  What are your thoughts?

Ambiguity in Leadership is a Certainty

Anyone who has ever been in a leadership role for longer than, oh, five minutes, knows that leadership is not a prescriptive thing.  As simple as we try to make it with lists of the ten top things to do here or the best five things to do there, it remains complex and full of paradox and ambiguity.  That’s what makes it the challenge it is.

Being in the leadership hot seat means that uncertainty will surely be your companion.  In fact, leaders have many roles that can seem incompatible with one another. And yet, they are all necessary parts of the overall function of every leadership position. There is nothing neat and tidy about them either.  These roles ebb and flow and leaders  must be flexible enough to roll with the tide.

Here are some leadership contradictions that come to mind for me.

Being conceptual and Tactical

It is important for leaders to be able to rise above the day to day mechanics of their operation so they can see where it is all going. This is about having a vision and ideas that give purpose to the work.

There is, however, a limit on the amount of time a leader should spend at thirty thousand feet, without coming down to the ground and working with people to ensure that plans are developed in line with the vision and specific actions are taken to bring it to life.

Leaders who dwell in the land of ideas too long tend to accomplish very little. Leaders who keep their noses to the grindstone and never get off the ground might accomplish a lot but chances are it will be a lot of the wrong thing.

Being a Leader and a Manager

Some people believe that leadership and management are two separate jobs. From where I sit, they’re not.  Both roles belong in the leader’s proverbial back pack. Confusion often raises its quizzical head, though, when we are deciding what to manage; what to lead; and when.

A simple rule of thumb is that leaders manage things and lead people. However, to add complexity to the mix, leaders also manage events and happenings that involve people and that means they must be prepared to manage conflict and other situations that could potentially get in the way of accomplishing the work.

Being a Leader and a Follower

Opportunities for people to show leadership, regardless of their formal status in the organization, are everywhere.  It is a wise leader who will recognize this and make room for it when it serves the organization and supports its goals.  The trick is to recognize when it is appropriate to stand down and become a supportive follower.

In general, allowing someone else to take the lead is a good idea when:

• s/he knows more about the specific work involved than you do or;
• s/he has demonstrated more skill in a certain area than you have.

This does not mean that you abdicate your position.  It does mean that you are leading for a time, by following and supporting someone who can take the lead and accomplish the goal better, faster or more efficiently than you can.

The bottom line here is that to do this effectively, you must:

• know your own strengths and limitations and;
• know the capabilities of the people who work with you

Controlling and Empowering

We all know that empowering others to express themselves and make contributions to the organizational goals is key to creating vibrant, engaged, working environments. And, while it is the leader’s job to do this, it is also his job to create a controlled atmosphere that connects to the demands and goals of the business.

This means finding a fine balance between being autocratic and being liberal. This is where having a fully activated set of organizational values and a comprehensive, well articulated vision of the future come in handy. They form a framework within which people can be empowered to use their creative abilities and make contributions on their own terms.

There are many other situations where leaders are required to make choices between seemingly contradictory activities.  For instance, when would you encourage individual effort over team development? Under what circumstances might you favour an arbitrary decision over a democratic one?

What comes up for you?

In Praise of Peacocks, Nerds, Dorks & Dweebs

Some time ago, I read a book called “A Peacock in the land of Penguins”.  The book was written by B.J. Gallagher Hateley and Warren H. Schmidt and it tells the story of an organization of Penguins who seek to differentiate themselves from the competition by hiring birds of a different feather.

As the story goes, one such bird was Perry the Peacock.  At first, the relationship between him and the penguins was a good one. The Penguins were delighted with the idea that Perry would bring a refreshing new perspective to their operation and Perry, being an ambitious sort, was equally delighted to be chosen.  But then, the tide changed.  Some of the penguins complained that Perry was too loud and showy.  They liked his work but were uncomfortable being around him.  He didn’t fit in.  And so, they took him aside and suggested to him that it might be better if he wore a penguin suit and moderated his behaviour.  There is more on this story here but you can well imagine that the battle between “let’s try something new” and “this is the way we do things around here” commenced soon after.

Unfortunately, this story is not an unfamiliar one to people who look at the world through a different lens.  As children, they are the ones who are less likely to be included and more likely to be bullied, ignored or ridiculed.  And, when they grow to adulthood, they are often expected to conform to a set of standards that makes no sense to them at all.

The good news is that many of these folks manage to extract themselves from what might have otherwise been mind-numbing existences and to fly to dizzying heights of success simply by insisting on being themselves.  And, if they hadn’t we would perhaps not have had the benefit of the genius of Einstein; the vision and technical capabilities of Bill Gates; the imagination and creativity of Ron Howard and Steven Spielberg; or even the brilliance of Michelangelo and Leonardo DaVinci.

These people, and many others, found ways to express their uniqueness, no doubt in the face of opposition from those who mistrusted or even feared the changes they were destined to bring to the world.

So what can leaders learn from this?  Well, I can think of three things at the moment and here they are:

• You will waste your time if you try to fit a peacock into a penguin suit.

If you hire people who bring new, fresh, talent and ideas to your workplace and then go about trying to make them conform to the existing organizational culture, you will not only waste your time and theirs but you will also miss a golden opportunity to add value and uniqueness to your business.  People who may be considered eccentric or even socially inept could be the very treasures you need to take your business into the future.  And, if they are not the golden nuggets you expect, then at the very least they will add an interesting dimension to what might otherwise be a pretty flat landscape.

• Focus on what is present, not on what is missing

As humans I think we are wired to look first at what we don’t have, and then consider what’s left if we have time. Simply put, if we truly value diversity and what it brings to the workplace we will first focus on what people bring to the organization before we look at what they don’t bring, and then decide how truly important the missing bits are.

• If you feel uncomfortable working around people who view things differently or behave differently from you, there is likely an opportunity lurking to learn something.  Suck it up and start asking questions

Feeling uncomfortable is sometimes a trigger that needs to be pulled to create deeper understanding between and among people.  Asking questions (respectfully of course) is a good way to learn about how other people think and what they want.  It’s also a good way to build relationships and ease our own disquieting feelings too.

Here is a link to an article from The Pipeline Style on Tap entitled “From Outcast to Awesome, 17 Famous Nerds Who Paved the Way”

Leading By Example & Mistaken Beliefs

According to Albert Schweitzer, “Example is not the main thing in influencing others, it is the only thing”.

If Albert is right about that, then leading by example, although a simple enough concept carries with it a pretty big impact.

On the face of it, to get it right, leaders must exhibit the behaviour they would like to see in others.  To use a well worn expression (that frankly, really belongs in the cliché bin), it’s about “walking the walk and talking the talk”.   What could possibly be complicated about that? Yet, some of us still manage to muck it up.

Perhaps  it is so simple that we often fail to consider it at all.  Or, perhaps it is that some people have mistaken beliefs about what leading by example is really about. Here are a few possibilities that come to mind for me:

• · Mistaken Belief #1 – Leading by Example is a 9-5 pursuit

I suspect that some leaders make leading by example a project rather than a way of being. In other words, they appreciate that in order to engage people at the office they have to serve as a role model and so they create a model of personal behaviour that may have little or no bearing on who they really are. In effect they put on their office persona in the morning along with their business clothes and take it off again when they get home and change into something more comfortable. While this practice may show some positive results in the short term, it is not easily sustainable.  And, I can only imagine how exhausting it must be.

The bottom line: If you don’t represent yourself honestly where ever you are, the example you set will not ring true for those you want to influence the most.

• · Mistaken Belief #2 – You can get people to do as you say, and not as you do, as long as you don’t get caught

In our condominium complex, there is a man on the board who is President of his own company. He serves on our Strata as Chair of the Building Committee, a pretty important role.  This past week he sent out a communication to all owners to advise us that putting weather stripping across our front doors is strongly discouraged because doing so interferes with the flow of air to the suites.  He advised those among us who had installed weather stripping to remove it immediately.

Days later, after receiving this rather forceful message, my husband had cause to place a note concerning condo board business under this man’s door.  He was unsuccessful in doing so because apparently, our Building Chair has installed weather stripping.

The Bottom Line: If you have ever had the idea that you can say one thing and do another and not be found out, think again.   Believe me, you will be busted. And, when you are, the trust and respect that others have for you will be compromised.

• · Mistaken Belief #3 – People will only pick up and emulate the behaviours you want them to adopt

No matter who we are, as long as we are alive, someone is looking to us for an example of how to behave. Even if we have never been placed in a formal leadership position, we influence those around us simply by being there. And, being human, we are not always going to act in exemplary fashion. We can only hope to align our behaviour in accordance with what we value most and accept that sometimes others will pick up something from us that we would rather they hadn’t.  It happens.

For example, a long time ago, I was invited to attend a lunch in the Head office executive dining room.  I was very surprised to receive the invitation because as a fairly junior personnel assistant, it was a bit of a lofty thing to happen for me.

The purpose of the lunch was to entertain a party of Chinese students. On meeting them I began to realize why I might have been chosen to participate.  They were all rather small and I, also being rather small, seemed to be the only bank representative who could look them straight in the eye without having to sit down.

The table was beautifully set. However, the only challenge for me and my lunch companions was that it was rather high, and the dining chairs, in contrast, rather low.

In spite of this, the lunch unfolded quite well…until the waiters delivered dessert, strawberries served in a tall stemmed glass, rimmed with sugar. It didn’t take long for me to discover that if I actually wanted to eat these delicious strawberries, I would have to stand up.  The other diminutives around the table seemed to be in the same predicament.  I noticed them looking at each other but none was so brave as to take a chance and grab a strawberry quickly while no one was looking.  And so, at what I considered to be a strategic moment, I took up my spoon, stood up very quickly, popped a strawberry into my mouth and sat down, just as quickly, to chew it.  My new, and equally undersized companions followed my lead until soon, we were all popping up and down until we bore a striking resemblance to an um-pa-pa band.  Needless to say, I was never invited back to the executive dining room.

Bottom line: It is a mistake to expect that people will not, at times, follow an unintended lead. It happens.  Forgive yourself and move on.

For more information about Leading by Example, here is a link to an article written by A.J. Schuler.

Employee Engagement & the Magic of Remembering

In a number of my previous blog posts, I made reference to the importance of listening and how this enhances the efficacy of communication.  A lot of other people talk about it too.  And that’s a good thing.

But I’m wondering how much of the information we get from listening do we actually remember when we’d like to or need to?  Taking notes is one way to capture new information but frankly sometimes it just isn’t appropriate to break a conversation so that we can capture a thought, a name or an idea.  So often, we have to rely on what we remember.

Personally, that is a scary thought as my memory for some things is, well, awful.  A little research has enlightened me however to the possibility that it doesn’t have to be awful as long as I give it some regular exercise.  So why would I want to?

Here’s why.  There is magic in remembering.

Many years ago, when I was working as a Personnel Officer in the Head office of a very large organization, I was invited to attend a breakfast and listen to the President  & Chairman of the Board, talk about our goals and challenges. The organization employed at that time, something in the neighbourhood of 35,000 people worldwide and so you can imagine that the goals and challenges were significant.

Before we sat down to breakfast the Chairman took a turn about the room, which was hosting about 350 people.  Quite by accident, he happened upon me.  I introduced myself and we talked for a very brief time.  And then he moved on.

Well, we had breakfast and then the Chairman got up to speak.  He was eloquent in his description of the organizational goals and realistic when he described the challenges we faced.

And then the magic happened.  He said something like, “I was talking to Gwyn earlier and she reminded me of the importance of people to our organization”

Suddenly, I was no longer a blurred face in the crowd or a very small cog in a very large wheel.  I felt important.  I felt heard.  And I felt included.

He had remembered my name.

Remembering details, like people’s names, may seem like a small thing when we have so many other things competing for our time and attention.  But simple acts of acknowledgement are very powerful.  They make us want to participate.  They make us want to do better and be better.   And that is, to me at least, the essence of employee engagement.

Here’s a link to an article written by Molly Edmonds, called Top 10 Ways to Improve Your Memory.

I’m going to work on improving my memory.  How about you?