Make ’em Laugh…A Key to Engagement

Have you ever noticed that people who are good at self-deprecating humour tend to be easy to like?  Me too.

My mother, who loved to laugh, was a master at it

In her younger days, she was someone who would perhaps have been described as a handsome woman.  She was large boned and full bosomed with striking blue eyes, blond hair and an air of authority that drew people to her like a magnet.

Of course, as she aged and illness made its mark, her physical appearance changed.  And, along with it, she gave up the fight against the relentlessness of graying hair, allowing the silver to blossom to its fullest extent.

One day, she was having a discussion with some of her women friends who were all remarking on my father’s good looks. (My father was always handsome.  He was one of those guys who, annoyingly, only got better looking as he aged. )  At one point in the discussion, one of the women asked Mum how she had managed to snag such a good-looking man for a husband.  Without batting an eye, my mother said, “Well, I didn’t always look like this, you know!”

The room erupted in laughter and my mother laughed along with them having won their admiration simply by poking a little fun at herself.  Pretty powerful stuff.

As a leadership tool, Self-deprecating humour can be pretty powerful too.

This is the kind of humour that leaders use to highlight their humanness and allow those around them to see a glimpse of something about them that is less than perfect, less than contained, less than controlled.

Allowing these glimpses of imperfection and depth of character to emerge is important. It is important because it helps to break down the barriers between bosses and everyone else, allowing for greater engagement and more opportunity for open discussion and idea exchanges.  What’s not to love about that?

There is a cautionary note though, and that is that while self-deprecation can be healthy and fun, it should not be allowed to degenerate into something that more accurately resembles self-flagellation.

In other words if bosses are constantly critical of themselves, then red flags tend to come up for those who look to them for leadership.   And that’s not a good thing at all.

Here are some thoughts about how to make self-deprecating humour work for you rather than against you:

Be Human
Here’s a new flash.  We all make mistakes.  Some of them aren’t that serious and so why not take a pre-emptive strike and laugh first before others do it for you?

Know Yourself
People who are comfortable in their own skin find it easier to laugh at themselves than people who are not.  Healthy self-esteem and confidence in one’s abilities pave the way to a lighter existence.

Take the work seriously. Yourself…not so much

Self-deprecation is an element of humility.  As a boss, staying focused on making the work and the people who do it, more important than maintaining a certain image or status as a leader, is key to success…for everyone.

So what are your thoughts?  When was the last time you shared a good laugh at your own expense?  What did you notice…about yourself? about those around you?

Make ’em Laugh !

Today, my friend Ginny reminded me of something that we can so often forget when we become embroiled in the serious business of business. And  that is the value of  laughing.

Leaders can often be guilty of taking themselves, and everything else, so seriously that the environment around them becomes stifled with stress and, well, just all around grumpiness. So in service of promoting laughter in the workplace and because it’s Friday, here is the story that Ginny sent to me.

Enjoy it! And pass it on if it makes you laugh.  Contagion is good when it’s laughter that’s being spread around.

The Funniest Staff Meeting Ever…… The boss of a Madison Avenue advertising agency called a spontaneous staff meeting in the middle of a particularly stressful week. (This is one pretty sharp boss!) When everyone gathered, the boss, who understood the benefits of having fun, told the burnt out staff the purpose of the meeting was to have a quick contest. THE THEME: Viagra advertising slogans. The only rule was they had to use past ad slogans, originally written for other products that captured the essence of Viagra. Slight variations were acceptable… About 7 minutes later, they turned in their suggestions and created a Top 10 List. With all the laughter and camaraderie, the rest of the week went very well for everyone! Talk about raising moral of employees. The top 10 were: 10.  Viagra, Whaazzzz up! 9.   Viagra, The quicker pecker picker upper. 8.   Viagra, like a rock! 7.   Viagra, When it absolutely, positively has to be there overnight. 6.   Viagra, Be all that you can be. 5.   Viagra, Reach out and touch someone. 4.   Viagra, Strong enough for a man, but made for a woman. 3.   Viagra, Home of the whopper! 2.   Viagra, We bring good things to Life! And the unanimous number one slogan: 1.   This is your peepee ………… This is your peepee on drugs.

Here’s something to think about. When was the last time you did something at work designed for the sole purpose of having fun?

What happened?  How did it make you feel?

Have a great weekend everyone.  Laugh lots.  It’s good for ya!

The Essential Tool Kit of Good Leadership

I think it is safe to say that leadership is a journey, and like most expeditions, there are a few essential things that have to come along with us if we are going to make it a worthwhile experience.

Here are four  that come to mind for me:

1.     A sense of Humour: Leadership is a very serious subject and good leadership is an essential part of any successful enterprise.  But to me, the load is so much lighter when we take ourselves less seriously than the work.  So, lighten up.  Know that you will make mistakes (some people like to call these learning opportunities…uh huh).  If you don’t already know how, learn to laugh at yourself before everyone else beats you to it.  Believe me, it’s very therapeutic and, if I were to be completely honest, it’s a great defense mechanism too!

2.     Curiosity Remember when you were a kid and asked questions like bullets coming out of a gun?  You wanted to know why the sky was blue; how come fish could breathe in the ocean; and why the lady next door always wore that silly hat with the big red feather.    We learned over time to be more discerning in our questioning practices so as not to be annoying or embarrass anyone. And we learned to mind our own business because it was polite.  Sadly, for many of us, along with all of that went a great deal of this natural drive to learn and know about things and people.  But curiosity is an invaluable exploration tool for leaders in business, or any other area of life.  Why are things the way they are?  What can be changed to make them better?  What would life be like if we did Y instead of X?  Curiosity opens up the imagination and allows for progress to be made in an interesting and fruitful way.

3.     Belief in yourself If you are a new leader, the prospect of being responsible for the outcomes and development of others can be pretty daunting.  But, know this.  You were chosen to lead for a reason.  Believe that you are in the place that you are supposed to be.  Trust your instincts.  And then do what you have to do to prove yourself right.  That’s sometimes called “fake it ’til you make it”

4.     Humility, Will, Integrity and Courage I’ve bunched these together because to me, they are the cornerstones of good, even great, leadership.  You can’t leave home without them folks. And to have one or two but not the others makes for an inconsistent and possibly unstable environment

Humility is about acknowledging, through actions, that being of service to something, someone, or a group of someones in the accomplishment of things greater than ourselves is more important than serving our individual wants and needs.  This is often hard to do but those who accomplish it and couple it with a strong Will to get the job done (whatever it might be) are the kinds of leaders that make great things happen.  Jim Collins, who wrote Good to Great- Why Some Companies Make the Leap and Others Don’t calls this kind of leadership Level 5 and while his book is aimed at executive leaders, there are lessons there for all of us.

Courage and integrity work hand in glove as well.  In my observation, one of the biggest issues in workplaces today is trust, or the lack thereof.  Leaders with courage and integrity will recognize not only the power their positions provide but also the burden of responsibility that goes along with it.  These leaders do what they say they are going to do.  They operate from a set of principles that are transparent to everyone.  And when change raises its sometimes ugly head, they are not afraid to go first; test the water and encourage and inspire others to follow.  Leading from a place of courage and integrity engenders trust and solid followership regardless of whether you lead a multi-national corporation or a small group within an organization.

There are of course many other values on which leaders draw to be effective and to achieve the results they need to create success.  Those I have described represent the basics.  So, if you want to delve further into the realm of personal values, here are a couple of suggestions:

Something to Read: Here’s a link to an excerpt from a book entitled: The Seven Heavenly Virtues of Leadership by Margaret Thorsborne.  The article addresses the value of integrity to our lives in general and leadership in particular.

Something to try: How about spending a little time focusing on your own values?  There is no limit to the number.  The only rule is that they have to be true for you, not what you think others expect of you.

So here’s a couple of questions to help get you started:

1. What has to be present in my life for me to feel strong and content?

2. What makes me really angry? (I mean really angry)

Answer the questions as honestly as possible and then write down the values that come to mind.  For instance if you feel really alive and vital when you are tackling a complex problem then perhaps challenge and/or learning are important values for you.

Whatever you do, have fun with it and Let me know how it worked for you!