Message to Leaders: Speak with Conviction…Listen With Intention

Every now and then, I like to write about communication. There are a couple of reasons for that. The first is that the language we use has a lot to do with how others regard us. And, in leadership, how we are regarded has a lot to do with the decisions people make about trusting us…or not.

The second reason is that the ease at which things get done in any organization often comes down to our ability to send and receive clear messages.

Like leadership, communication is a complex subject so I’m not going to try and simplify it. Nor do I have a list of do’s and don’ts that will cure our respective communication ills.

I have just two thoughts to share today.

One is: If you want people to believe in you and in what you say, speaking clearly and with conviction is a good place to start.

Language has always been littered with jargon. As English is the only language in which I have any facility, I’m going to say that English is probably one of the worst offenders. Over the past several years though, we have become even sloppier about how we choose to express ourselves. We punctuate our sentences with a series of ‘likes’ and ‘okays’ that muddy our messages. And, we have developed an annoying habit of turning statements into questions. This latter habit is particularly troublesome and serves to invite uncertainty where conviction ought to be.

Some people might think that speaking with conviction requires us to use a certain voice, maybe one that is stronger, or louder than our own. However, I assert that conviction does not have to shout to be heard. It just has to come from a sincere and real place.

The American poet and teacher, Taylor Mali addresses the importance of speaking clearly and with conviction here. It is short, powerful and will make you smile.

My second thought is: If you want to learn something, discover something or build something, you must also listen with intention.

If speaking with conviction gets people’s attention and earns their confidence, Listening with intention will help us to keep it. This is the kind of listening that demands our total presence. Our intention must be to suspend judgment; to resist the temptation to interrupt; to fight our tendency to build arguments in our heads while someone is talking. It requires us to explore; to question and to rephrase. This kind of listening comes from a conscious decision to truly understand what is being said. It does not require us to agree but it provides the opportunity for meaningful discussion that can lead to breakthrough thinking and effective collaboration.

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When it comes to speaking with conviction and listening with intention, neither is easy. For me, at least, it is an ongoing challenge. But then, things worth pursuing usually are, aren’t they?

That’s what I think anyway.  What do you think?

Note: Originally posted in April, 2012

Communication… Two Good Things About Yesterday.

This is  the time of year when many of us are lucky enough to be able to take a break from the normal hectic pace of life and spend a little time reminiscing about times that have gone before.   While we know that spending too much time dwelling on the past is not particularly productive,  sometimes it serves us well to remember some of the good things about it, things that might continue to be helpful as we move toward the future.  For instance, this post, from 2010, highlights two communication skills that, in my view anyway, continue to be worth preserving.

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I was thinking the other day that there are things we just don’t do anymore.  Take elocution lessons for example.

When I was seven years old in England, elocution was actually part of our school curriculum.  Of course that might have been because most of us in the class had a dreadful habit of dropping our “haiches” and committing other such crimes against the English language.  But the point is that in school, someone in his or her wisdom decided that we should learn to speak so that we could also be understood.

Enter Miss Frost, a woman whose demeanour befitted her name, small, grey and wizened with the ability to freeze one to the core with one look.  Miss Frost had us all standing at attention on many an occasion repeating after her,“How now, Brown Cow”, shaping our little mouths, like baby birds, as roundly as we could so the sounds would come out to her satisfaction.

I suspect that we did not, for the most part, satisfy Miss Frost, as her temper never seemed to improve and nor did our penchant for “haiche” dropping.  Nonetheless, I did come to know that words, when pronounced with care, tend to convey a clearer meaning than when we allow them to carelessly careen off the end of our tongues and get hopelessly enmeshed in jargon, saliva and each other.

And then there is Penmanship.  There was a time when the only source of written communication was pen and paper.  In school we learned how to shape our letters and write in straight lines and when we received gifts from relatives and friends at Christmas and other important occasions, it was obligatory to sit down and write carefully crafted notes of thanks. When one is small, it is a painful exercise but it taught us the importance of acknowledgement and that maintaining good relationships with others relied on making an effort to be appreciative and gracious.

Now, it is much easier to sit at a computer and send e-mails, or text, or tweet. In fact, the number of ways that we can communicate with each other without putting pen to paper is now amazingly diverse. I approve wholeheartedly of anything that helps us keep our relationships alive.  After all, the current pace of life rarely allows the opportunity to sit down and write letters any more.  On the other hand, I can’t help but think that something has been lost, something that speaks to the art of communication.

Wally Bock  once wrote a post called Once Upon a Time. In it, he talks about the changes that have taken place over the years  in not only the way we do things but also in the tools available to us to do them.

Initially having lived through the times he described,  I thought there was not much that I really missed about them.   But, on further reflection,  I’m thinking that the ability to speak clearly and add a personal touch to our gratitude by actually writing a legible note of appreciation occasionally are leadership tools that continue to have great value.

That’s what I think anyway. What do you think?

Leaders: Speak with Conviction…Listen with Intention

Every now and then, I like to write about communication.  There are a couple of reasons for that.  The first is that the language we use has a lot to do with how others regard us.  And, in leadership, how we are regarded has a lot to do with the decisions people make about following us…or not.

The second reason is that the ease at which things get done in any organization often comes down to our ability to send and receive clear messages.

Like leadership, communication is a complex subject so I’m not going to try and simplify it. Nor do I have a list of do’s and don’ts that will cure our respective communication ills.

I have just two thoughts to share today.

One is: If you want people to believe in you and in what you say, speaking clearly and with conviction is a good place to start.

Language has always been littered with jargon.  As English is the only language in which I have any facility, I’m going to say that English is probably one of the worst offenders.   Over the past several years though, we have become even sloppier about how we choose to express ourselves.  We punctuate our sentences with a series of ‘likes’ and ‘okays’ that muddy our messages.  And, we have developed an annoying habit of turning statements into questions.  This latter habit is particularly troublesome and serves to invite uncertainty where conviction ought to be.

Some people might think that speaking with conviction requires us to use a certain voice, maybe one that is stronger, or louder than our own.  However, I assert that conviction does not have to shout to be heard.  It just has to come from a sincere and real place.

The American poet and teacher, Taylor Mali addresses the importance of speaking clearly and with conviction here.  It is short, powerful and will make you smile.

My second thought is: If you want to learn something, discover something or build something, you must also listen with intention.

If speaking with conviction gets people’s attention and earns their confidence, Listening with intention will help us to keep it.  This is the kind of listening that demands our total presence.  Our intention must be to suspend judgment; to resist the temptation to interrupt; to fight our tendency to build arguments in our heads while someone is talking.  It requires us to explore; to question and to rephrase.  This kind of listening comes from a conscious decision to truly understand what is being said.  It does not require us to agree but it provides the opportunity for meaningful discussion that can lead to breakthrough thinking and effective collaboration.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The truth is, when it comes to speaking clearly, with conviction and listening with intention, neither is easy.  For me, it is an ongoing challenge.  But then, things worth pursuing usually are, aren’t they?

What do you think?

Communication… Two Good Things About Yesterday.

I was thinking the other day that there are things we just don’t do anymore.  Take elocution lessons for example.

When I was seven years old in England, elocution was actually part of our school curriculum.  Of course that might have been because most of us in the class had a dreadful habit of dropping our “haiches” and committing other such crimes against the English language.  But the point is that in school, someone in his or her wisdom decided that we should learn to speak so that we could also be understood.

Enter Miss Frost, a woman whose demeanour befitted her name, small, grey and wizened with the ability to freeze one to the core with one look.  Miss Frost had us all standing at attention on many an occasion repeating after her,“How now, Brown Cow”, shaping our little mouths, like baby birds, as roundly as we could so the sounds would come out to her satisfaction.

I suspect that we did not, for the most part, satisfy Miss Frost, as her temper never seemed to improve and nor did our penchant for “haiche” dropping.  Nonetheless, I did come to know that words, when pronounced with care, tend to convey a clearer meaning than when we allow them to carelessly careen off the end of our tongues and get hopelessly enmeshed in jargon, saliva and each other.

And then there is Penmanship.  There was a time when the only source of written communication was pen and paper.  In school we learned how to shape our letters and write in straight lines and when we received gifts from relatives and friends at Christmas and other important occasions, it was obligatory to sit down and write carefully crafted notes of thanks. When one is small, it is a painful exercise but it taught us the importance of acknowledgement and that maintaining good relationships with others relied on making an effort to be appreciative and gracious.

Now, it is much easier to sit at a computer and send e-mails, or text, or tweet. In fact, the number of ways that we can communicate with each other without putting pen to paper is now amazingly diverse. I approve wholeheartedly of anything that helps us keep our relationships alive.  After all, the current pace of life rarely allows the opportunity to sit down and write letters any more.  On the other hand, I can’t help but think that something has been lost, something that speaks to the art of communication.

Last week, Wally Bock wrote a post called Once Upon a Time. In it, he talks about the changes that have taken place over the years  in not only the way we do things but also in the tools available to us to do them.

Initially having lived through the times he described,  I thought there was not much that I really missed about them.   But, on further reflection,  I’m thinking that the ability to speak clearly and add a personal touch to our gratitude by actually writing a legible note of appreciation now and then are leadership tools that continue to have great value.

What do you think?